Its Me...Again

Its been a while since I last wrote on here and a lot has changed since I last did. December 2021 to April 2022 was a hectic period for me. From my dad falling sick and needing surgery to job constraints it has been a lot but what I want to talk about today is what my relationship of 4 years, which ended this year taught me.

Yes, I had to deal with a breakup this year and it was me who broke up with her. Label me the bad guy or whatever but it felt like we were on a loop that needed to be broken. A lot was going on, with me, with her and we couldn't be there for each other in a way the other appreciated. If you think this article is a smear campaign think again. 

Those who know the full story know it but at some point in the relationship we wanted different things and holding on became increasingly more difficult by the day. Me being someone who cares a lot I had to care enough to end it. It did feel like nullifying the last 4 years of my life but I accepted that what I needed she couldn't give, me. 

What made it extra difficult was that I assumed that this was going to be my last relationship (as in courtship chii chii). Man's isn't getting any younger either. Imagine having to start a new relationship at 34. Feels like running a marathon, quitting before the finish line and starting another marathon. 

Certain words and events you just can't get over, sometimes. One of the theories came back to haunt me lol. The theory being that the more you're with someone before marriage the less likely you are to marry them. Imagine me having a whole future planned out which is never going to happen. It feels like ripping a limb off. 

So this year is a year of new beginnings. Coincidentally the number 22 is a big part of my life and its beginning. I closed the chapter of that part of my life to begin a new one. 

Here's to new love💜💙

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